The Sexton

I imagine them together – Delilah walking with her hands on her bare stomach – fingers in farmwater – Johnny squatting outside of the pig hut – Johnny dragging the half-door from mud – I wash the cap rails of the pews – I drag along the back crest – Delilah and the bird beak – Delilah running at three in the morning – what did he say about her – couldn’t tell if it felt good – couldn’t tell if anything felt good – the church is empty – I touch it – bodies can confuse themselves – Johnny at my kitchen table – my mother’s count to three – Johnny shirtless – Johnny smile – the church makes a sound as it opens – from the atrium – a woman asks if anyone is here – I walk the nave – the two altar steps – knock on the sacristy door – the woman takes her coat off and holds it – Delilah’s bare stomach – Delilah lowering into the lake – the priest behind a closed door – the woman watching me watch her – moan – in the pig hut – burning cornflower – my mother saying this will hurt – I’d already learned what happens to a sweet thing – we used to gamble cherries – Delilah trying to rub off a red stain – Johnny believing the whalebone – when the priest comes – he cups his hands – draped green velvet – carved wood slits – I know sweetness – makes bad things stick to it – I carry my bucket my rag – to the basement – where a single light flickers – the sound of pouring water – sound of my mother popping Johnny’s shoulder back – I push an old school desk to climb under the bulb – try in quick turns to loosen it – hot from the socket – how clearly I could hear –